Now I’m all for constructive feedback as I’m keen to improve my advice, my programs, and my services Silver Scream Con Cert Shirt. But the minute you give irrelevant advice (come on, commenting on what she perceived as my weight issue is completely irrelevant to the quality of my style advice), and destructive feedback to someone, well what happens? Our brains shut down immediately. It’s toxic and should be treated that way. I try and maintain a growth mindset, and it’s why I’m always reading, learning, and trying to improve what I do and know. And this morning as I was walking my lovely whippets around the park, I was listening to an audiobook all about improving how you think (it’s called Elite Minds by Dr Stan Beecham) where he was talking about the research around getting people to do better. What was interesting was that when you ask people to write down the best advice they’ve ever gotten, the kind of advice that has made the biggest impact on them. Well, it turns out, it was positive rather than negative advice. Negative advice tends to make us turn off, turn away or just give up because it makes us feel not good enough. In fact, what was fascinating was the research around telling people to “do better” compared to “do your best”. Did you know that “do better” is perceived as negative feedback whilst “do your best” is positive and much more motivating. This is because you can always “do better” and can make you feel like you’re never improving. Well, I’m always trying to help all my program members and clients (and anyone who takes the time and effort to read this blog) improve their style, in a way that is relevant and right for them. And I know language and word choices have a big impact, yet I’d never heard about the “better vs best” research before and it’s opened my eyes to thinking about these words and their impact in a new way. I may have used “what would be better” before and now want to rethink how I phrase my advice.

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